The following are some tips for parents to help keep children and pre-teens on track and out of trouble as they grow into teenagers:
- There should be structure in the household, including chores and dinner time.
- Avoid permissive parenting.
- Avoid authoritarian parenting (too rigid ).
- Utilize natural consequences (Ex: “You didn’t do your chore so you don’t get money to go out).
- Follow through on consequences.
- Do not be quick to rescue a child from emotional discomfort created by their own actions and subsequent consequences.
- Learn to say “no”.
- “No” means “No” but choose “No” wisely.
- Avoid too much negotiation as it will evolve into manipulation.
- Avoid emotional disciplining.
- “Respond” to unwanted behavior, don’t “react”.
- Differentiate between your need for your child to succeed and what is good for them.
- Understand the relationship between your identity and your child’s achievement.
- Know who your children spend time with. Take an interest in their friends, friend’s parents, and the level of supervision in the friend’s home.
- Remain unified as parents, don’t allow yourselves to be split openly.
- Stress the importance of treating animals and all living things with respect.
- Do activities with your child that can last into their adult years that you both enjoy.
- Drain their energy by involving children in physical activity that they want to do as well as activities that you want them to do.
- Avoid making a decision under pressure created by the child (” I want it now” or a decision “now”). Let them sit and wait for you to think — Children may create chaos to get what they want.
- Avoid too many rewards for behaviors that are expected and benefit the child. For example, the reward for good grades is “good grades” for them. Minimize their expectation of an external reward for them for doing what’s right and in their best interest.
- Kids should have to work for their spending money.
- Try to create a model for how the world and relationships really work so children are prepared for life.